Violet’s Gluten Free, Low Sodium*, Vegan, “All-Natural”, Organic Hat Soup

A delicious recipe enjoyed by members of all echelons during the biannual Eventide festival at The Compound, this classic meal is easy to prepare using nothing more than local vegetables and last season’s vestments. Enjoy with any of your favorite sides or offerings.

Hat Soup

• Serves: 4 mortal servants (or 1 High Luminary)
• Cook time: 5 minutes

Ingredients

• 1 Hat of a preferred organization
• 2 Cups bone broth (given freely)
• 1/2 Teaspoon salt
• 1 Whole durian
• 1/4 Pinch of oregano
• 1/2 Onion
• 1/2 Teaspoon salt
• 1 Cup of artificial tofu substitute
• 1 lb of Chettle
• 1/2 Teaspoon salt
• 1 Egg
• 1 Cup mini chocolate chips
• 3 Teaspoons salt
• 1 Hat of a sinful unpreferred organization

Instructions

1. Read the scriptures and memorize thine daily affirmations.
2. Kneel before thy holy shrines and give thanks.
3. Venerate the Onion.
4. Remove the head(s) from the preferred hat.
5. Slice the hat of the sinful organization into the pattern of the current Holy Origram (as foreseen by Bob’s Guide to Celestial Movements and Tap Dance, pg.2008) that its corrupt essence may once again be wrought pure by the spirits of the Aether.
6. Mix all ingredients into the hat of the preferred organization.
7. Bake for 6 minutes.

Season’s blessings be upon ye!

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